Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
