this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
