clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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