my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
