I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Randomize
