is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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