piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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