Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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