we have officially lost it.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My bed smells like the plague
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
