At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
