When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
