He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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