I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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