let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
