I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
