maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
