Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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