So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
