her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
