I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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