I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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