i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
