her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She told me I should be a condom model.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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