I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
