but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
