Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
