meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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