it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
