Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
