I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
