Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
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