Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
