Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
