I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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