is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
