Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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