I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
