so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
