I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she looked like the before picture.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
