"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
