Your dad touched me again.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
