I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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