Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize