Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i was born a porn star she said
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
