The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
