oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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