Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
