i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
