So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
