Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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